Advertisements

I reached the breaking point

worry
What should I be focused on?

Its my day off today and I can’t help but, think about what transpired prior to my breaking point.

I work for someone who causes utter craziness in our department.

It’s been a rough year to say the least!

Although, I know there is a purpose in all this.

I’m trying not to get caught up in what continues to manifest.

Unsettling Patterns

Have you ever worked with someone that is all over the place in their thoughts and actions?  How did that work out for you?  I would like to be perfectly honest and tell you that I hit my breaking point because, I am working an average of 10 to 12 hours a day, my phone is to be left on 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

I can do all this as long as I am in bed around 7:00 pm and I can sleep till around 5:00 am.  If my sleep time is decreased my body becomes weary and weak.  I believe its important to not let my exhaustion show when it comes to others.

Its Sunday, I am told that I have to drive out of town for work.  Meanwhile I was up at 4:40 am that day to go do my prison ministry. I had to come home and pack fast to hit the road. I had a 4 1/2 hour drive ahead of me. When I finally arrived around 11:30 pm that night.

It was nearly impossible to fall right asleep, my body needed time to shut down. I woke up exhausted because, this is not enough sleep time for me.  Plus, the turmoil I went through with my boss, basically, who was giving me an ultimatum.

The Mind

My mind would not shut off long enough for me to fall asleep or stay asleep.  So, lets just say I got about 3 hours of sleep that night.

After I did what I needed to do that next morning (which involved more craziness) due to my bosses inability to plan ahead.  I headed out. On my way home, my arms and hands started to tingle and felt numb so I decided it was important to pull over.  I notified my boss and our new officer via email.

As I sat in the car, my emotions started to pour out of me.  I asked God why and how can a person like this do this to me? I can’t deal with them any longer!  Why am I allowing them to affect my health and well being, this is unacceptable!

Eventually, I decided I was okay enough to get back on the road and as I was driving and listening to my radio (playing Christian music) or (listening to Christian preaching). I hoped it would get my mind off all that has manifested.

Shelter Me

As I continued driving I realized I wasn’t getting any better.  So, I started looking for shelter. As, I walked to the hotel registration I could barely stand.  I felt weak and weary and I was short of breath. I was blessed to be able to get a room. The summer months can be a bit challenging when it comes to hotel vacancy.

As soon as I got to my room and laid down I emailed my boss and our officer. I told them I needed to pull over and get some rest, I needed sleep and I don’t know what is going on with my arms, hands numbness and tingling.

Shortly, after the email went out the officer phoned me out of concern for my health and well-being.  I said, I am beyond exhausted and I need to take care of myself.  He asked if he could pray for me. I said, most definitely. He asked that I call him letting him know how I am feeling.

Advertisements

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.